Friday, February 1, 2008

On Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs - Dave Grossman

By LTC (RET) Dave Grossman, author of "On Killing."

Honor never grows old, and honor rejoices the heart of age. It does so because honor is, finally, about defending those noble and worthy things that deserve defending, even if it comes at a high cost. In our time, that may mean social disapproval, public scorn, hardship, persecution, or as always,even death itself. The question remains: What is worth defending? What is worth dying for? What is worth living for? - William J. Bennett - in a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997

One Vietnam veteran, an old retired colonel, once said this to me:

"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." This is true. Remember, the murder rate is six per 100,000 per year, and the aggravated assault rate is four per 1,000 per year. What this means is that the vast majority of Americans are not inclined to hurt one another. Some estimates say that two million Americans are victims of violent crimes every year, a tragic, staggering number, perhaps an all-time record rate of violent crime. But there are almost 300 million Americans, which means that the odds of being a victim of violent crime is considerably less than one in a hundred on any given year. Furthermore, since many violent crimes are committed by repeat offenders, the actual number of violent citizens is considerably less than two million.

Thus there is a paradox, and we must grasp both ends of the situation: We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizens are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

I mean nothing negative by calling them sheep. To me it is like the pretty, blue robin's egg. Inside it is soft and gooey but someday it will grow into something wonderful. But the egg cannot survive without its hard blue shell. Police officers, soldiers, and other warriors are like that shell, and someday the civilization they protect will grow into something wonderful.? For now, though, they need warriors to protect them from the predators.

"Then there are the wolves," the old war veteran said, "and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy." Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

"Then there are sheepdogs," he went on, "and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf."

If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf. But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed

Let me expand on this old soldier's excellent model of the sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids' schools.

But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, "Baa."

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

The students, the victims, at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop. When the school was under attack, however, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, the officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them. This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door.

Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America, more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Remember how many times you heard the word hero?

Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle. That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed right along with the young ones.

Here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently. The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, but the sheepdog lives for that day. After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." When you are truly transformed into a warrior and have truly invested yourself into warriorhood, you want to be there. You want to be able to make a difference.

There is nothing morally superior about the sheepdog, the warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the population. There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims like big cats do in Africa, when they select one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself.

Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001, Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury, New Jersey. Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking. When he learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd dropped his phone and uttered the words, "Let's roll," which authorities believe was a signal to the other passengers to confront the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents. -- from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground.

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

Here is the point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice. But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision.

If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you. If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love. But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

For example, many officers carry their weapons in church.? They are well concealed in ankle holsters, shoulder holsters or inside-the-belt holsters tucked into the small of their backs.? Anytime you go to some form of religious service, there is a very good chance that a police officer in your congregation is carrying. You will never know if there is such an individual in your place of worship, until the wolf appears to massacre you and your loved ones.

I was training a group of police officers in Texas, and during the break, one officer asked his friend if he carried his weapon in church. The other cop replied, "I will never be caught without my gun in church." I asked why he felt so strongly about this, and he told me about a cop he knew who was at a church massacre in Ft. Worth, Texas in 1999. In that incident, a mentally deranged individual came into the church and opened fire, gunning down fourteen people. He said that officer believed he could have saved every life that day if he had been carrying his gun. His own son was shot, and all he could do was throw himself on the boy's body and wait to die. That cop looked me in the eye and said, "Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself after that?"

Some individuals would be horrified if they knew this police officer was carrying a weapon in church. They might call him paranoid and would probably scorn him. Yet these same individuals would be enraged and would call for "heads to roll" if they found out that the airbags in their cars were defective, or that the fire extinguisher and fire sprinklers in their kids' school did not work. They can accept the fact that fires and traffic accidents can happen and that there must be safeguards against them.

Their only response to the wolf, though, is denial, and all too often their response to the sheepdog is scorn and disdain. But the sheepdog quietly asks himself, "Do you have and idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?"

It is denial that turns people into sheep. Sheep are psychologically destroyed by combat because their only defense is denial, which is counterproductive and destructive, resulting in fear, helplessness and horror when the wolf shows up.

Denial kills you twice. It kills you once, at your moment of truth when you are not physically prepared: you didn't bring your gun, you didn't train. Your only defense was wishful thinking. Hope is not a strategy. Denial kills you a second time because even if you do physically survive, you are psychologically shattered by your fear helplessness and horror at your moment of truth.

Gavin de Becker puts it like this in Fear Less, his superb post-9/11 book, which should be required reading for anyone trying to come to terms with our current world situation: "...denial can be seductive, but it has an insidious side effect. For all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn't so, the fall they take when faced with new violence is all the more unsettling."

Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level.

And so the warrior must strive to confront denial in all aspects of his life, and prepare himself for the day when evil comes. If you are warrior who is legally authorized to carry a weapon and you step outside without that weapon, then you become a sheep, pretending that the bad man will not come today. No one can be "on" 24/7, for a lifetime. Everyone needs down time. But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself...

"Baa."

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between. Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. The degree to which you move up that continuum, away from sheephood and denial, is the degree to which you and your loved ones will survive, physically and psychologically at your moment of truth.

Merddyn -
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Operation Air-condition the Neighborhood - June 29, 2006

This is 100% true story… the best stuff always is apparently. I know it’s true because it happened about five minutes ago to me.
The Facts.
These are the things you need to know. I have lived at my current apartment complex for almost six years. My apartment complex is all-bills-paid, which means they cover electric, water, etc in the rent automatically for a set monthly rate. Very nice, I like it, that’s why we moved there. I also have had a satellite dish for the last 2.5 years. The dish is mounted to the handrail on my patio on the 2nd floor. My lease states that I cannot mount a satellite dish or anything else to the building. It doesn’t say anything about handrails… but that’s not really the point here… Read on.
The situation:
A few days ago we get a letter from our leasing office saying they would be happy to take down our satellite dish for us and that we should be happy they are only going to charge us $50 for this service.
Of course, we didn’t ask for this so I called the leasing office and we got into a few verbal bouts of logic about the interpretation of the wording in my lease. Eventually the manager got tired of me running her around in verbal circles so she referred me to her supervisor who manages several properties owned by the same parent company.
The conversation went like this.
Supervisor: Hello Mr Sangster. I’m the supervisor for your property. How are you today?
Me: I’m great, thanks for asking, I hope everything is great with you. What can I do for you?
Supervisor: Well Mr. Sangster, do you have written permission from the office to have a satellite dish?
Me: No, I’m sorry, I don’t. I wasn’t aware I needed written permission. My lease doesn’t say I need written permission, it jus says not to mount it to the building and any damage I do the building if I do mount it must be repaired before I leave. Do I need written permission?
Supervisor: Yes, you do. You also need to have at least $10k in renters insurance to cover any liability. You have mounted your dish to the railing which is our property. We need you to remove it.
Me: Liability? Who’s liability? Can you explain? How are you liable? Oh, and I already have $35k in renters insurance, I’m happy to provide proof.
Supervisor: Well, if there was a storm and the dish were to fall and hurt someone you would could be held liable and sued.
Me: Oh yes, I understand that completely, that’s part of the reason I have renters insurance. I understand it’s my liability. That’s why I have insurance. How is that a problem for you though?
Supervisor: (totally ignoring my question) Mr Sangster. We need you to remove your dish from the property and you need written permission to install it. You also need to provide proof of insurance. We have this policy to help beautify the property. (note: is beautify a word?)
Me: Ok, no problem. I’m happy to comply. How do I get written permission?
Supervisor: We don’t give written permission to mount satellite dishes.
Me: ummmm. You just said I have to have written permission and insurance to have one. I already have insurance. Why can’t I have written permission? And why did you ask if I had written permission if you know you don’t give written permission….. and how can that be a requirement if you don’t do it?... I’m confused.
Supervisor: Mr. Sangster. If you want a satellite dish it must be mounted on a pole in a bucket of cement. You can place that on your front porch. You will need to show proof of insurance though.
Me: ok, I’m happy to comply but I have a problem with that. My apartment is facing the wrong way so I have to mount my dish on a very long fifteen foot pole to get it above the building so it can reach the satellite signal. A five gallon bucket of cement will not sufficiently stabilize a 15 foot pole with a satellite dish on top if the wind blows. I will need to have a much bigger base. I would have to mount a pole that long in something closer to 35 gallons of cement to get enough stabilization. A 5 gallon base would topple right over and hurt someone in a storm.
Supervisor: Mr. Sangster. I’ve been doing this work for 35 years. I’ve never heard of anyone using anything more than a five gallon bucket full of cement.
Me: Well, I understand. Most people just need a 3 or 4 foot pole, but mine has to be at least 15 feet. It’s a simple matter of physical really. The longer the pole the longer the lever is. The longer the lever the lesser the amount of force needed to move a given amount of weight. If you lengthen the lever you have to add more weight to keep the lever from moving.
Supervisor: Mr. Sangster. You can mount your dish in a five gallon bucket.
Me: yes, I can… and the first time it storms my dish will go flying. Are you going to file a claim on your insurance if it does that?
Supervisor: No, you are responsible for that, but in any case you cannot mount your dish to our building.
Me: I understand and I’m happy to comply but please answer me this. I’m basically going to have to get a 35 gallon trash can and mount my dish in that. I don’t really want a 35 gallon trash can full of cement on my front porch…. And I think the point of this whole thing is to beautify the complex as you said so you probably don’t want me to do that either.
Supervisor: No, we certainly do not want you to put a trash can on your front porch, but I still don’t think you need that much cement.
Me: Has anyone else in your 35 years needed to mount a 15 foot pole in a 5 gallon bucket of cement? Have you seen that actually work in a storm?
Supervisor: well, no, not that I can think of.
Me: That’s kind of what I thought. It’s very simple leverage. The longer the handle the more opposing force you need. You understand leverage right?
Supervisor: There’s no need to be insulting Mr. Sangster. Yes. I understand leverage, but I still don’t think you need that much cement.
Me: well, the amount of cement is really not up for debate. It’s simple grade school physics really. But, the bottom line here is neither one of us wants a big trash can full of cement on my porch and you won’t let me mount the dish on the railing. Why is it I can’t mount it on the railing again?
Supervisor: Because it’s a liability.
Me: Right… My liability right? I’m responsible. Right?
Supervisor: Right…
Me: That’s why I have insurance… which you even say I have to have… So how is this your problem if I’m the one responsible? Why can’t I just leave it where it is since I have insurance?
Supervisor: Because it’s our property and you don’t have written permission.
Me: oh yeah, So can I have written permission?
Supervisor: No Mr Sangster. We don’t give written permission for that.
Me: Then why do you require it?
Supervisor: So that people can’t do it.
Me: Why don’t you just tell people they can’t do it? Like put it in the lease like that?
Supervisor: (getting upset now) Mr. Sangster. We really don’t have any say with what you do with your satellite dish but you cannot mount it on our property. The railing is our property.
Me: Ok… I get that. You’re still not making a lot of sense but I understand that much. I apologize if I’m just not following along with you.
Supervisor: So when will you take down the dish? You can mount it in a bucket if you like. That’s how most people do it.
Me: I’ll take it down this weekend, but I can’t put it in a bucket because you said you don’t want a trash can on the porch. I really don’t want it on the porch either.
Supervisor: You can just put it in a five gallon bucket like everyone else.
Me: Didn’t we just have this conversation? It has to be much more than that. I don’t want a 35 gallon block of cement on the porch and neither do you. So logically that means I either have to move or cancel my satellite. I still have 9 months on my lease and it’s going to cost $200 to cancel my contract for the satellite.
Supervisor: Well, you’re more than welcome to mount the dish in a bucket like everyone else. Of course we aren’t responsible for the cost of any 3rd party contracts you are a part of and we can’t let you out of your lease for something like this.
Me: So the way this basically breaks down is big trash can of cement on my porch or pay $200 to cancel my contract.
Supervisor: if that’s the way you see it I suppose so.
Me: I really think you should pay for me to cancel the contract or let me out of the lease. I really don’t want to move though. I’d rather just have you pay the termination fee. My dish has been up for 2 and a half years and hasn’t hurt anyone. And you’ve even admitted it’s not your responsibility if it does hurt someone. I accept that. I have insurance.
Supervisor: (getting mad now) We will not pay the $200 and your lease is legally binding. What you do with your satellite dish is your business but it WILL be removed from our property.
Me: Well, I tell you what. You’re going to pay that $200 whether you like it or not.
Supervisor: (laughing) Mr. Sangster, We’re not paying it. I’m sorry.
Me: (very politely) Listen to me, this is what’s going to happen.
I’m going to take down my dish this weekend. I’m going to cancel my satellite service. I’ll pay it out of my pocket just because I’m a nice guy. Then, starting on Monday I will begin Operation Air-condition the Neighborhood. This operation goes something like this.
I get up in the morning to go to work and I set the thermostat on my air conditioner to 70 degrees. Then I open all the windows in my apartment. Then I leave for work for the day. When I come home I close the windows so I’m comfortable. This will go on for at least a month. During that time I am more than confident that the amount of money you spend on electricity will be much more than the $200 fee you’re refusing to cover because of your silly rules.
Supervisor: Mr. Sangster you can’t do that.
Me: Why is that? Does it say somehere in my lease that I can’t have the air conditioner on and the windows open at the same time?
Supervisor: Well no, it doesn’t but you can’t do that. The electric bill would be outrageous.
Me: Well, I tell you what. Because I’m such a nice guy I will cancel Operation Aircondition the Neighborhood if you get written permission from me to cancel it.
However, there’s a small problem with that. I don’t give written permission to cancel any of my special operations. Why? Because I don’t really want them cancelled.
Supervisor: (they slam the phone down and hang up)


Merddyn -
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference